


Can't Lose Another

by julienwrites



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Car Accidents, Concussions, F/M, Getting Together, Love Confessions, Medical Trauma, Mutual Pining, mentions of vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28250577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julienwrites/pseuds/julienwrites
Summary: Because it’s true. She has to be okay. Matt doesn’t know what he’ll do if she’s not. He can’t lose another person in his life. He watches her eyes flutter open as Kidd, Gallo, and Mouch all hover around her. The captains brow furrows and he clenches his jaw as he watches Sylvie drain of color. Something’s obviously wrong, much more than just a small laceration to her head.// Canon Divergent AU 9x2 What if Brett got a concussion when the ambo flipped?
Relationships: Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 29
Kudos: 168





	1. The Scene

**Author's Note:**

> A little fic of my original prediction before the episode aired. I had thought maybe they'd have Brett get a concussion, resulting in someone needing to stay with her. And oh look, a certain Captain won't let the love of his life out of his sight. 
> 
> Chapter 2 coming soon!

Her head is pounding, throbbing like someone’s just hit her with a baseball bat. Though the origin is coming from her left temple and below, the pain is all encompassing, squeezing her head as if it’s a balloon about to be popped. Sylvie lets out a low whine, suspended against her seatbelt. Sluggishly, like her whole world is in quicksand, the paramedic tries to open her eyes, but light filters in and she closes them at once when nausea rolls over her in waves. Ears ringing, she’s only vaguely aware of Mackey calling her name, though when the other paramedic puts a hand on her shoulder and jostles her, another whine escapes her lips. Every movement of her body makes her head feel like it’s ripping in two. The thumping lines up with her heart beat, throbs pulsating through her skull like an old time boxing bell. 

Breath’s uneven and shaky, Sylvie’s brow furrows on it’s own, pain building up inside of her. The space behind her eyes gives a particularly painful throb and she almost gags. Trying to twist away from the pain is no use, so she gives up, body tired. She doesn’t know where she is or what’s happened, her mind only floats as she’s pulled back under into the pain. 

A pair of hands are on her shoulders again, this time they’re big and strong, holding onto her as if she may evaporate. It causes more pain as it jerks her head, and once again she tries to shy away from whatever the culprit is. 

“-ie. Come on. Sylvie,  _ honey _ , come on. You have to wake  _ up _ .” 

The voice is desperately worried. She knows that voice but it’s like the name is just beyond reach. There’s a clicking noise and then her body is falling forward. A loud noise hits her ears and more pain explodes somehow. Belatedly, she realizes that the loud noise comes from her, reacting to the movement. The paramedic wants to talk but can’t think of what to say, can’t really think at all. Her brain supplies her with one word. 

“M-Matt.” 

“I’m right here baby, I’m right here. It’s okay, you’re going to be okay, I promise Sylvie. You have to be okay.” 

Matt. She needs Matt. He’s the only person who can help her. She loves Matt. Matt’s safe and warm and will protect her. Eyes fluttering open again, she sees blonde hair and blue green eyes meet hers, if only for a second. She’s no longer suspended. Instead, she’s on her back, and there are multiple people in turnout gear around her, yelling and moving quickly. Forcing her eyes to stay open, Sylvie finds Matt again, who’s wearing a desperate, pained expression. 

“M-Matt.” The word is choked out, pain overwhelming her again. It crashes into the blonde, and then nausea on top of that, causing the petite woman to gag and then lose the lunch she’d eaten hours ago, body jerking forward, stomach spasming, eyes shutting. She needs it to stop, needs the pain to go away. She’s not sure how much she can take. 

“Sylvie, it’s okay, you were in an accident, do you remember?” Matt’s talking, her brain offers her a tiny reminder. Prying her eyes open once again when she feels something against her face, she sees Matt holding the lower part of his jacket up, using it to wipe the sick off of her chin and neck. She lets out a whine.

“Hey, hey  _ sweetheart _ , it’s okay, we’re waiting on an ambulance. What hurts?” His voice is pained, twisted in a way she’s never heard it before. He’s sweaty and pale, but his cheeks are flushed bright red. 

“Ma’t’hurrs.” 

“What hurts Sylvie? Come on honey,  _ what _ hurts?” 

A sharp pain jars her from any thoughts she might be coming up with, instead it pulsates through the left side of her head. Unable to do anything, she gags again, barely aware when more comes up, or that she doesn’t feel it hit her skin, but something soft is brought up to her chin to catch it. 

“Where the  _ hell _ is that ambo!?”

The words are so loud Sylvie tries to move away, another almost inhuman whine escaping her lips. 

“What hurts Sylvie?” 

It’s a different voice this time, a woman’s. But that’s not right, she needs Matt. 

“M- _ Matt _ …” 

“I’m right here honey, I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Sylvie, what hurts. Come on girl, you can do this. What’s hurting?” Stella. The words register blearily in her brain that’s already foggy. 

“Head…” She gets the word out and tears fall. She’s in so much pain. Maybe she’s dying. But she can’t be, because suddenly Sylvie’s moving, and the feeling of being jostled, combined with the pain and the fact her eyes are shut only serves to make her cough and gag again. She hears a commotion, but drifts in and out. When she’s suddenly aware that someone is holding her hand, the paramedic tries to focus on the feeling. A loud bang, and then she feels herself drifting off, bright lights overhead hurting. People are talking at her, but her brain isn’t willing to cooperate anymore. 

+++   
  
“Kidd, slow down, I see them!” Matt’s whole body is buzzing like he’s on speed. He can’t even hear himself think, the words he’s saying aren’t registering in his brain. 

“I see’em, hold on..” 

“ _ Kidd _ !” 

All he can see is Ambo 61, turned on it’s side, supplies spilling out the back. The windows are too dark to see inside, especially from this far away. They need to be closer. He needs to be closer, now. Aware Kidd is going to turn around, he shakes his head, then opens the firetruck door. Ignoring the woman as she calls his name, he doesn’t think, just acts. Matt pushes himself out, managing just barely to get on his feet enough to start running, using the momentum to keep himself upright. From there he runs as fast as his body will allow. Sylvie’s down there. 

Approaching the ambo, he sees the new girl, Mackey, pushing herself out, scrapes and cuts littering her face. “Capta-” 

“Where’s Brett?” His brain doesn’t even think to check on the blonde’s partner. She’s standing, she’s talking. 

“Sh-She’s inside, she’s hurt, we ne-need to..” 

Matt’s already at the door, trying desperately to get it open. Adrenaline rushing, he yanks for the fifth time, barely noticing as his shoulder catches painfully. His eyes take in everything in front of him. Glass is shattered, papers are everywhere, a to-go cup is spilling water, and Sylvie is hanging, pressed against her seatbelt, blood trickling down from her hairline. This image replaces the one that’s been burned into his brain for over a year, the one of Brett sobbing in pain, arm twisted unnaturally as she lay in rubble. 

Gently, forcing himself to calm down for the paramedics sake, he places his hands on her shoulders, holding more tightly than he means to. 

“Sylvie. Come on. Sylvie,  _ honey _ , come on. You have to wake  _ up _ .” 

When she doesn’t respond, he looks around and finds her seat belt release, clicking the red button. Matt catches her as her body falls forward. A loud whine comes from the blonde, and Matt’s heart squeezes. She’s not dead. Only dimly aware others are around him, Casey brings her out of the ambo, thankful when he sees the yellow backboard on the ground, one thing that was salvageable from the back of the ambo. 

“M-Matt.”  His head snaps up, looking at Sylvie. “I’m right here baby, I’m right here. It’s okay, you’re going to be okay, I promise Sylvie. You have to be okay.” 

Because it’s true. She has to be okay. Matt doesn’t know what he’ll do if she’s not. He can’t lose another person in his life. He watches her eyes flutter open as Kidd, Gallo, and Mouch all hover around her. The captains brow furrows and he clenches his jaw as he watches Sylvie drain of color. Something’s obviously wrong, much more than just a small laceration to her head. 

“M-Matt.” The paramedic swallows convulsively, and in the background he hears Mackey say something about an emesis basin, but it’s too late, Sylvie’s gagging and then jerking forward, vomiting onto herself and her lap. Matt’s eyes dart around, trying to see or hear any sign of the ambulance that’s been called. 

Looking back, he sees her beautiful blue eyes have shut again. Noting the sick that’s made its way onto her chin and neck, he pulls the bottom of his jacket up, wiping it away, not even thinking. 

“Sylvie, it’s okay, you were in an accident, do you remember?” Matt can see she’s terrified, if not a little confused. The blonde’s face is contorting in pain, and when she lets out a heartbreaking whine, he bites his lip. “Hey, hey  _ sweetheart _ , it’s okay, we’re waiting on an ambulance. What hurts?” His hand finds her arm, rubbing his thumb against her jacket sleeve. His whole body is on fire, hot from the adrenaline, and he feels almost dizzy with the need for Sylvie to be okay. 

“Ma’t’hurrs.” The slur in her voice puts him on edge, and his eyes flicker up to where his team is watching them. He can’t be bothered to care.

“What hurts Sylvie? Come on honey,  _ what _ hurts?” He feels like he’s going to lose his mind, like he might actually explode. Doesn’t she understand it’s the only way he can help her? Gallo hovers close by an arm on Sylvie’s leg, rubbing it gently. Matt’s unaware of what sets her off this time, but she’s going pale again (not that she really regained color the first time), gagging long enough that Matt’s able to rip his jacket off, putting it out in front of her right before she gets sick again. 

“Where the  _ hell _ is that ambo!?”

There’s still no sirens in the distance. He doesn’t mean to yell as loud as he does, as  _ angry _ as he does, but he’s ashamed the second Sylvie pulls away. He drops his jacket to the ground, body numb to the cold. It’s cold, he should have used something else to help her with, she could have had his jacket to stay warm.  _ Damn _ it. 

“What hurts Sylvie?” Kidd steps in, looking frazzled and worried. Matt doesn’t move his hand from Sylvie’s arm, but he puts his other one on Kidd’s shoulder. Why is this happening to them? Haven’t they suffered enough these past years? Hasn’t Brett?

“M- _ Matt _ …” 

“I’m right here honey, I’m not going anywhere.” The captains heart flutters. She wants him. His hand tightens on Stella’s shoulder at the idea he could lose this. 

“Sylvie, what hurts. Come on girl, you can do this. What’s hurting?” 

Matt’s never been so thankful for Stella Kidd in his life. Something about what she says, or how she says it, breaks through. Sylvie looks at them through narrowed, pinched eyes. “Head.” 

If anyone knows head injuries, it’s Matt Casey. He’s acutely aware of how debilitating they can be, how it hurts so much you think your head might explode, only to have it increase worse than you ever thought possible. He squeezes Sylvie’s arm as gently as he can, and then Kidd is stepping backward, making him lose his footing, though he rights himself instantly.

Two paramedics he doesn’t recognize; maybe new or not usually in their district, come up next to him. It feels like he’s floating as he watches the pair check Brett over. His temper flares. 

“We need to get her to the hospital! Check her over in the ambo!” 

“Sir we’r-” 

“It’s  _ Captain _ . And I know  _ damn _ well you can check her over in the ambo. She’s already on a board. She needs to get to med  _ now _ . She has a concussion. She’s vomited twice already, she’s barely coherent.” 

Matt doesn’t notice the shocked looks from everyone, doesn’t see Mouch step forward, or Stella (bless her) stop him. He doesn’t notice Gallo or Mackey both looking at each other worriedly. 

“Let’s  _ go _ ! I’m not losing another person in my life!” Matt’s voice cracks and if this were any other time, he’d be mortified for outwardly displaying his emotions like this in front of his truck. As it stands, Sylvie is still laying barely awake or coherent in front of him. Both paramedics look at each other and start heading toward the ambo. No one tries to stop him when he follows, holding her hand tightly. He leaves truck behind. Screw protocol. 


	2. The Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie wakes up and Matt's world shifts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas Eve!! I hope you all are having a good day, even with everything going on. I decided to add another chapter to this as well, so it will have three now. Have 5k of Brettsey! Leave a comment if you enjoy!

Sylvie wakes up cold. She’s freezing, enough so that her body gives a small shiver. She doesn’t open her eyes, feeling float-y and vaguely nauseous, but she tries to focus enough to listen, hearing noise. Sleep tugs at her and she starts to give in, but not before hearing a voice close by. 

“She’s shivering. Can we get her another blanket? Does she have a fever?” 

“We’ll get her one. And no, it’s probably just from the fluids, plus her body’s been through a lot. It’s trying to recalibrate.” 

“....okay. Can we still get her a blanket though?”

“Of course Matt.” 

Sylvie drifts. 

When she wakes again, some of the tiredness has cleared, but not the hazy halo that seems to encompass her head. A dull ache sits in her skull and behind her eyes. Her body hurts. Sylvie tells herself it’s time to open her eyes, and after a moment they flutter open. The room is dark aside from one lone dimmed light shining above her. She blinks over and over until the world sharpens and she can make out more than just blurred figures. 

The first thing Sylvie sees is that she’s sitting in a hospital bed, IV slipped into her hand. There are two cream, standard issue hospital blankets on top of her, making her feel warm and sated. She pulls them closer to her, her arms feeling like jello. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees someone in a chair next to her bed, neck bent at an awkward angle in an attempt to be comfortable. Dark blonde hair falls in his face, and he’s wearing his uniform, though it’s a bit rumpled and there’s a few blotches of red on the white shirt. 

_ Matt _ . He’s asleep, she realizes sluggishly, taking him in. His breaths are slow and even, and he looks much younger than forty years old in the low hospital lighting. Eyes finding a clock hanging on the wall, the paramedic sees it’s nearly three am. Her door is closer and a long sheet covers it up, offering some semblance of privacy. She wonders if she’s in the emergency room or a room that says she’ll be here a few days. Judging by the plastic chair Matt’s occupying, it’s the ER. That must be a good sign. 

As if her body has something to prove from the thought, nausea washes over her and the dull pain in her head suddenly goes from a five to a ten. An urgent whine escapes her throat as she shuts her eyes tightly, the world wobbling. Noise comes from her left and then there’s a hand on her shoulder, and she can sense something being held under her chin. Body acting on its own accord, Sylvie’s stomach pushes too hard and then she’s getting sick, coughing as the acid stings her throat. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay honey. Just get it up.” Matt’s voice is gentle and quiet, and she feels his warm hand rub at her shoulder in comfort. When Sylvie’s certain she isn’t going to throw up again, she spits in the salmon colored basin and then opens her eyes. Had he just called her honey? 

“ _ There _ she is.” Matt looks tired, eyes puffy, his voice scratchy. But his facial features go from worried to relieved in a matter of seconds, and a genuine smile stretches across his face. The captain sets the plastic aside, not dropping the hand on her shoulder. “How’re you feeling?” 

She thinks, taking stock of what she can as her head continues to throb. Before she’s able to reply, there’s a quiet knock on the sliding glass door, and then Will Halstead slips in, smiling when he sees Sylvie awake. Walking over, his eyes flip up to the monitor on her right. 

“Welcome back Brett, how’re you feeling?” 

This time she’s ready for the question. “Head hurts. Everything hurts.” 

Her voice sounds like sandpaper, and the dryness in her throat makes her cough. Halstead grabs a small paper cup from the counter nearby, filling it with water. Matt takes it when a straw is placed, holding it up to her mouth. Sylvie wants to protest and say she can do it, but if she’s honest, she’s not sure she can. Pulling the blankets up had been hard enough. She takes a sip, then another before the cup is sat back down. 

“She got sick a minute or so ago,” Matt supplies to the doctor as he helps her drink. 

“Probably why we got an alert from the monitor, BP suddenly went up. Can you tell me your name? What year it is, and who I am?” 

She nods, closing her eyes quickly as she feels nauseous again. “Mm...Sylvie Brett. 2020. Dr.Halstead.” Her words come out slow, and she feels like she’s trying to remember how to speak. 

“Good. How bad does your head hurt?” Halstead takes a pen out of his pocket and clicks it, a tiny light glowing from the tip. He tilts her chin up and when the light hits her eyes she jerks back. 

“S-Sorry.” Sylvie doesn’t mean to tear away, it’s a knee jerk reaction. 

“It’s alright. It’s to be expected. Now, scale from one to ten. How’s the pain?” Both men look at her and she swallows, not fully understanding what ‘it’s to be expected’ means, brain feeling slow and muddled. 

“An eight, maybe? It hurts....” 

Noticing Matt shift, she feels the hand on her shoulder tighten ever so slightly, which supplies her with the fact he’s not taken it away yet. The paramedic is struck with the fact she can’t recall anything prior to waking up. 

“What...is everyone okay? What happened?” 

Matt looks at Will, who shakes his head as if to reassure him. “Short term memory loss is common. Don’t worry. What’s the last thing you remember Sylvie?” 

“There…” she shuts her eyes a moment, willing herself to remember. “There was a call. Me and Mackey...is Mackey okay?” She pauses, body tensing. If her new partner’s been hurt she won’t forgive herself. 

“Mackey‘s fine Syl. Keep going..” 

“All I remember is pulling out of the house. You stayed the night before…” the blonde looks at Matt, their eyes meeting. He nods, and she feels slight relief. She hasn’t lost too much time apparently. Halstead nods and the firefighter licks his lips, eyes not breaking contact. 

“You and Mackey got called out. The guy from last week, the one whose brother died...he slammed into the ambo, you went off the rail and crashed.” She notices it looks like he wants to say more but doesn’t, so she finally pulls her eyes away and turns back to Halstead. 

The doctor gets close again, leaning over. He puts his finger in front of her face. “Follow my finger. You’ve got a pretty nasty concussion, but right now I’m not too concerned. Your pupils are reacting, which is a good sign. You can answer questions. We did a CT scan that revealed moderate swelling of the brain, and while I don’t think it’ll cause major problems, we’re going to keep you for a few days just to monitor you. I’ll have April get you some zofran and morphine so we can try and keep on top of the pain. We want you to be comfortable. I’ll check back in in an hour or so, do the tests again, but for now get some rest.” 

The words of both men start to wash over her. A tiny possible memory blips for a split second in her head, something about her falling out of her seatbelt. It leaves as quickly as it had appeared. She’s got a concussion, but it’s not fatal. Halstead pats her leg and walks out, leaving her and Matt alone again.He’s sitting now, chair as seemingly close as it can get. She wants to say something, ask hundreds of questions, but April walks in, a warmed sympathetic smile on her face. 

“Good to see you awake,” she offers, holding a few syringes in her hand. “Zofran and some saline,” April says as she pushes the antiemetic and then the flushing solution. “You’ll feel a little warm and fuzzy with the morphine.” Another dosage and then more saline. Sylvie almost instantly feels warmth rub through the veins in her arm, her head feeling heavy. 

Soon they’re left alone again, and quiet overtakes the room. Matt’s watching her, hands resting on the bed. He’s so pretty, she thinks, even looking as tired as he does. Matt looks up with a quirked eyebrow, and oh, okay, did she say that outloud? 

“Pretty huh? Not macho or handsome?” His tone tells her he’s not offended or upset, probably more entertained than anything else. Sylvie’s cheeks turn red, though she’s not sure if it’s from the drugs or the embarrassment. 

“Prettiest man I know, Matt Casey. Thank you for being here,” it’s as if she can’t stop the words from coming, like her brain’s filter has shut off. “I hate hospitals, I always have. Beds are uncomfortable and it’s scary to not know what’s wrong.” 

Matt’s warm hand slides on top of hers, thumb brushing against it. His skin is smoother than she thought it would be, what with being a contractor and firefighter. He snorts and she realizes she must have said that out loud too. Sylvie’s head starts feeling foggier and her eyes close. His hand is comforting. 

“You make me really happy Matt. Happier than I’ve been in a long time. Maybe we’ll end up together...really wanna kiss you. Bet you’re the best kisser.” 

She feels a hand squeeze hers and a kiss on the forehead. 

“Me too Sylvie.” 

The paramedic falls asleep. 

\+ + +

The ride to the hospital was torture. Matt feels desperate to do something, help the man that’s working on Sylvie, but it’s useless. Even if his brain could focus on anything other than the blonde laying there unconscious, he’s not trained for this kind of situation. He went through the basic EMT course all firefighters are required to take in academy, but most of his knowledge stops there. 

It’s a blur as they arrive at Chicago Med. No one’s paying much attention to him until he’s alone and Sylvie’s been taken behind a curtain to be assessed, Halstead and April working diligently. 

Goodwin appears a moment later, coming out from behind the curtain. He’d not even seen her go in. Matt looks at her with wide blue eyes, feeling helpless. He needs to know she’s going to be okay. 

“They’re working quickly, she’s about to get a CT scan to see the damage. We’ll keep you updated, Matt. Sylvie’s strong, we both know that. Just try and think good thoughts okay? I’m sure she’ll be alright.” 

Matt nods, but it feels like he’s floating. He doesn’t register that he’s being led to a chair nearby in the waiting room, or that he’s soon alone. All he can think about is the woman who’s lying in a hospital gurney alone and in pain. The woman he’s never gotten to tell his feelings to. When this is all over, he’s going to have to come clean. He can’t go through this again. 

Commotion starts around him but he’s not aware of anything until Severide is crouching in front of him, hand on his knee. 

“Case. Hey Bud, what’d they say? How is she?” 

Looking up, Matt sees all of 51 now, huddled into the small waiting area. He blinks and realizes his face is wet, but he doesn’t have the strength to wipe it off. Severide turns to Kidd, who’s standing next to him looking worried. Words are exchanged but Matt doesn’t hear them, taking a deep, shutterey breath. Boden and Herrmann are in front of him too, Mackey hovering to the side. The rest of the house have taken to sitting, talking quietly. 

“Sh-She’s going in for a CT scan…or...I don’t...she might be there now…” Matt stands up. He turns to Mackey, whose face is scratched up, a few bruises already appearing. “Mackey...I’m sorry for not h-“ 

“Captain. I know I’ve not been here long, but...you did the right thing. I would have done it too. It’s okay, we’re good.” 

Always good at reading people, Matt knows she’s genuine. He feels terrible he’d not hardly spared a glance at their newest member, now seeing her in front of him. All he can do is nod, words getting stuck when he remembers Sylvie again. It must show, because all of the sudden Herrmann is pulling him into a tight hug. Matt feels tears burn at his eyes again, as the man talks quietly, low enough that he’s the only one to hear. 

“You’re not losing her. She’s a tough son of a bitch, and if anyone can come out of this, it’s Brett. You made all the right calls at the scene. It’s going to be okay Matt. And if after this is all done I don’t see you two holding hands and talking mushy to each other, I’m going to kick your  _ ass _ .” 

It’s the use of his name that makes him break, and the almost blessing-like words after that has him sinking into the man. Herrmann has always been a great friend, and he’d been the best right hand man before he’d become a Lieutenant himself. But he’s also had a strong bond with Gabby, and after the divorce Matt had felt awkward around him, like Herrmann was blaming him for all of it. He’s not let it affect work, always still friendly and able to joke around, but the thought that Herrmann might think differently of him has plagued him since Gabby left. Obviously, it’s not the case, as he’s thought for almost two years. 

When he pulls away, Boden steps up, squeezing his shoulder. They don’t say anything, but Matt feels his fatherly presence, and it’s unspoken that the chief will be there for anything he needs. Moments after, Kidd appears, a soda and peanut butter crackers in her hand. 

“You need to eat, your blood sugar is probably in the negatives. You don’t want to be passed out when Brett wakes up.” 

“....thank you.” Matt knows she’s using Sylvie as a ploy, but all he can feel is gratitude for everyone here. He takes the Coke can from her, hands shaking as he pops the tab. The crackers,  _ thankfully _ have been opened for him. He doesn’t think he can deal with the embarrassment of being so shaky he can’t open a pack of crackers, on top of everything else. 

It’s a waiting game after that. At some point, Severide goes and asks Goodwin if there’s any update but she shakes her head and promises she’ll let them know when there is. An hour later, Halstead walks up, getting the houses attention. Matt’s on his feet instantly, about to shove his hands in his jacket pockets when he remembers its back at the scene, soiled and forgotten. 

“We did the CT scan, as well as an MRI. She’s got a cerebral contusion, or a bruise, on the left side of her brain, which is causing some swelling. It doesn’t look serious, and there’s no bleeding or hematoma, which is really good. I want to keep her a few days to monitor everything, but she’s going to be okay.” 

Matt’s whole body is tense as the doctor speaks, but he feels dizzy with relief when the words ‘she’s going to be okay’ are spoken. Everyone else seems to calm down too. 

“Will there be any complications or side effects?” The captain asks, trying to quickly rub at his eyes. He doesn’t want to cry anymore. 

“As you know, concussions can take a while to heal. There’ll be headaches for a few weeks. She won’t be able to return to work till she’s cleared. But if it helps, it’s not anything like what you experienced Matt, she shouldn’t have long lasting effects.” The doctor checks as his pager goes off. “You should be able to see her soon. She’ll probably be asleep for a while, her brain is trying to reboot her system. April will come get you.” 

Halstead heads off to check on others, and the entirety of House 51, even squad and engine, smile and their bodies relax. Severide hits Matt’s shoulder, smiling. 

“What’d I tell you Case? She’s going to be fine.” 

As if he’s floating through air, Matt smiles. “ _ Yeah _ .” 

Boden turns to him, smiling. “Brett’s too stubborn to do anything but come out of this stronger. I’m pulling truck out of service, I don’t want you here alone, and I don’t think I could get those three to leave anyway. Mackey will stay here too. I think some time around everyone will do her some good.” 

“Thank you Chief, it means a lot. I’ll keep you updated, let you know if anything else happens.” 

Half an hour later, April leads Matt and Kidd back first. Sylvie’s still asleep, and it stays that way as Kidd switches out for Mackey, and then Gallo and Mouch after her. By the time eight pm rolls around, Matt heads out to the waiting room where Kidd and Mackey are talking, the other two men in tow. 

“I really appreciate you guys being here, but since nothings really happened, why don’t you get back to the house? I’ll let everyone know when she wakes up, and you guys can come back. But if it’s all the same...I’d rather truck be back in service.” 

It’s true. He appreciates the fact his friends are here, worried about Sylvie and keeping him company. But the city is important too, and sitting around just waiting isn’t doing them any good. 

Stella is the first one to agree, to Matt’s surprise. “Of course Captain. We’ll head back. Just let us know okay? I wanna see my girl when she wakes up.” 

Matt nods, smiling a little when Gallo and Mouch both give him a friendly pat on the arm. He turns to Mackey, who’s standing somewhat awkwardly to the side. 

“You can stay if you want. I know waiting’s boring…” He‘a sure it’s not the right thing to say, but he doesn’t know her well. Ambo is out of service, and he thinks he remembers Boden trying to get her to go home and rest. 

“I think I might head back to the house too. Even if I’m not working….this house is like a family, and it’s nice to be included and around everyone.” 

He knows the feeling. He can remember certain times he’s felt the need to simply be around the family that’s 51. “Of course. Stella, make sure she sits up front,” he smiles, calling to his team. Both women laugh and he just hopes he’ll hear Sylvie’s laugh soon too. 

Once Matt’s left alone, he heads back to Sylvie’s room. As he walks by the main station of the ER, Maggie stops him with a look he can’t quite read. He swallows and pauses, praying nothings gone wrong in the ten minutes he’s left the paramedic. 

“Visiting hours are over, Captain,” the charge nurse says gently. Matt’s face drops, and she shakes her head. “But I know a man who’s in love, and I know that this was hard on you. I also know that you’re not Severide and won’t be too loud or obnoxious. So go be with your girl.” 

A small smile forms on Matt’s lips and for what feels like the billionth time today, he blinks back tears. “Thank you Maggie. It’s...thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it. Seriously,” she laughs a little, and Matt heads quickly to Sylvie’s room. 

Nearing midnight, April comes in for the fourth time, checking Sylvie’s vitals and scribbling them into the clipboard at her bed.

“She’s shivering. Can we get her another blanket? Does she have a fever?” Worry fills his body. Sylvie’s been trembling a little for the past half hour or so, but he’s been too nervous to walk away, and his brain’s forgotten the fact there’s a call button. 

“We’ll get her one. And no, it’s just from the fluids, plus her body’s been through a lot. It’s trying to recalibrate.” 

April gives him a sympathetic smile. Matt tries very hard not to ask more questions or get upset. He needs to stay calm or he’ll be told to leave. 

“....okay. Can we still get her a blanket though?”

“Of course Matt.” 

Eventually, he falls asleep. After fussing with the extra blanket she’s been given, and hours of sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chair near her bed, his eyes can’t stay open anymore. It’s been a long, emotional day, not to mention he’s barely eaten and he’d stayed at Sylvie’s the night before on her couch. He’s woken up by a distressed whine, high pitched and desperate. Eyes flying open, he ignores the tug in his shoulder from earlier that day combined with how he’s slept. Instead, he grabs the emesis basin that’s sitting on the small rolling table next to her bed, thrusting it under her chin. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay honey. Just get it up.” For the third time in twenty four hours, Matt catches Sylvie’s sick, though he can’t be bothered to be grossed out. The firefighter places a hand on her shoulder carefully, not wanting to jar her, and holds her steady as she spits into the plastic container. Her eyes flutter open like something out of a movie scene and they find his. 

“ _ There _ she is.” The worry that’s been plaguing him melts away, seeing her fully awake. He can’t help but smile, teeth and all. He wants to lean in and kiss her, wants to hold her tight and never let her go. The idea of not being with her after all of this is absurd. A small voice tells him she’s not interested, but he ignores it in lieu of focusing on her, laying in bed. “How’re you feeling?” 

As he watches her, Matt can see the wheels in her head turning. He’s sure she’s confused and in pain, she’s obviously nauseous. He keeps his hand on her shoulder, and when she seems ready to say something, they’re interrupted by a knock and the door sliding open. Matt pushes down his disappointment, knowing it’s stupid when the doctor is the one she needs right now, not him. 

“Welcome back Brett, how’re you feeling?” 

“Head hurts. Everything hurts.” 

Matt frowns instinctively. Her voice is scratchy from disuse, and he can hear the pain lacing the words. As Will moves across the room to get a cup of water, Matt squeezes her shoulder again. As the cup gets closer, the captain takes it and holds it to her lips. Normally, he’s sure she’d be indignant and insist on doing it herself. The fact she doesn’t makes his stomach twist. Sylvie takes a few sips and he sets it back down when she seems to be done.

“She got sick a minute or so ago.” Matt doesn’t want that to go unnoticed, even though there’s an emesis basin sitting next to them as a reminder. 

“Probably why we got an alert from the monitor, BP suddenly went up. Can you tell me your name? What year it is, and who I am?” 

The words make Matt anxious again. He can’t remember anything from the first few times he woke up years ago, after he’d fractured his skull, but the questions seem like they should be obvious. Watching her closely, he fidgets when he can tell she’s trying, mouth opening slowly, eyes shutting. 

“Mm...Sylvie Brett. 2020. Dr.Halstead.” 

Thank god. 

“Good. How bad does your head hurt?” 

Wincing in sympathy, Matt  _ does _ remember the light getting shone in his eyes after every time he’s been taken to med for a possible concussion. When she pulls back, he takes a barely noticeable step towards her. 

“S-Sorry.” 

“It’s alright. It’s to be expected. Now, scale from one to ten. How’s the pain?” 

He keeps his eyes trained on her, watching her think. Matt feels helpless, wishing he could help or fix it all. He’d much rather take the pain and put it on himself. He’d do it twenty times over. 

“An eight, maybe? It hurts....” 

Matt’s hand tightens on her shoulder again. 

“What...is everyone okay? What happened?” 

Dread fills the blonde’s body. She doesn’t remember. That can’t be good, that’s….that’s bad. He can feel himself spiraling when he looks at Halstead, biting his lip hard, skin feeling too tight. 

“Short term memory loss is common. Don’t worry. What’s the last thing you remember Sylvie?” 

“There…there was a call. Me and Mackey...is Mackey okay?”

The name falls from Sylvie’s lips and Matt lets out a breath, feeling shaky. Obviously the memory issue isn’t bad, if she remembers the new paramedics name. “Mackey‘s fine Syl. Keep going..” 

“All I remember is pulling out of the house. You stayed the night before…” 

Their eyes lock. Matt feels like his emotions are everywhere- Happy and thankful she’s okay, surprised she remembers that he’d been there last night, anger towards the man who did this to her. He keeps his eyes on hers, licking his lips anxiously. When she looks a little lost, Matt starts talking, hating that she can’t fully recall. 

“You and Mackey got called out. The guy from last week, the one whose brother died...he slammed into the ambo, you went off the rail and crashed.” He wants to tell her how scared he was, how hearing that 10-1 had made him almost crack. Matt wants to scream how he feels, wants to kiss her and show her how much she means to him. It feels like the most important thing in the world, making sure she understands. Halstead runs his tests, and the captain watches, hoping whatever she’s doing is indicative of her moving in the right direction. 

“Follow my finger. You’ve got a pretty nasty concussion, but right now I’m not too concerned. Your pupils are reacting, which is a good sign. You can answer questions. We did a CT scan that revealed moderate swelling of the brain, and while I don’t think it’ll cause major problems, we’re going to keep you for a few days just to monitor you. I’ll have April get you some zofran and morphine so we can try and keep on top of the pain. We want you to be comfortable. I’ll check back in in an hour or so, do the tests again, but for now get some rest.” 

As the doctor explains, Matt feels energy drain from his body, now knowing that the petite blonde is out of the woods. A small ache wraps around his head like a band, but he barely notices. He wants to ask her how she’s feeling, or if there’s anything he can do to help. She looks up at him, but, again, they’re interrupted. 

“Good to see you awake.” April walks in and Matt is glad to see syringes in her hand. “Zofran and some saline. You’ll feel a little warm and fuzzy with the morphine.” After the meds have been administered, Matt sits down in the chair he’s been occupying. He lets his hands rest on the bed as he scoots the chair up trying to get it as close as it’ll go. He lets silence wash over them, happy to let her digest everything. 

“He’s so pretty, even looking as tired as he does.” 

The words fall from the blonde’s mouth after minutes of silence, startling him. Not just the noise, but what she’s actually said. Pretty? She thinks he’s pretty? When he sees her cheeks pinken, he knows he needs to make the situation less embarrassing. 

“Pretty huh? Not macho or handsome?” Matt keeps his tone light and playful, knowing full well he can’t laugh at Sylvie even though he wants to. She looks so sleepy and bleary, he almost leans over and kisses her right there. The firefighter physically stops himself when his torso leans forward. 

“Prettiest man I know, Matt Casey. Thank you for being here. I hate hospitals, I always have. Beds are uncomfortable and it’s scary to not know what’s wrong.” 

The admission makes his heart go a little gooey. It amazes him that someone who hates the hospital works as a paramedic. She surprises him every day with little tidbits of herself, given to him like bits of candy handed to a child on Halloween. He keeps them close, not wanting to share them with anyone else. Gently, he places his hand on top of hers, secretly happy that her IV was placed in the hand on her other side. Much easier to hold, and he’s sure he won’t cause any pain.

“His skin is smoother than I thought it would be, what with being a contractor and firefighter.” 

God, she needs to stop being so cute. This time, he can’t stop the small snort that the words illicit, giving her a fond smile. 

“You make me really happy Matt. Happier than I’ve been in a long time. Maybe we’ll end up together...really wanna kiss you. Bet you’re the best kisser.” 

The words make time freeze. His whole world suddenly feels different, like a huge shift has occurred. Sylvie Brett wants them to be together. Sylvie Brett wants to kiss him. Swallowing thickly, he squeezes her hand, then, half nervous and half confident, he kisses her forehead 

“Me too Sylvie.” 

He watches her fall asleep, mind racing as he tries to figure out what his plan is going to be. Matt thinks back to what he did for Hallie and Gabby, but wipes the memories away quickly. This is Sylvie, not either of the others. She’s special, and unique, and her own person. His own eyes shutting, this time Matt lets his head rest against the corner of the uncomfortable hospital bed mattress, falling asleep almost as quickly as Sylvie. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. The Apartment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once released from med, Sylvie and Matt share a moment and something more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the end! I didn't realize how much I wrote until the end and saw it was basically the same amount as both previous chapters put together, whoops!! With that being said- I hope you guys like it! I'm always nervous to write confessions of feelings because I'm worried I'm going to get characterization wrong. I hope Matt comes off true to character, because we all know he's a little bit like a teenage boy with his first crush when it comes to Sylvie. Definitely more rambly than his usual self. 
> 
> Let me know how you like the ending!! Next up is either a new installment in the Runt series, or a little continuation of this, possibly a coda of them telling everyone they're together.

At nine in the morning, two mornings in, April comes by with discharge papers. Matt looks up from where he’s been watching Sylvie eat the pancakes and eggs he’d grabbed from the cafeteria a half hour ago. Matt thinks it’s cute, how Sylvie refuses to eat anything but breakfast foods in the morning, unlike himself who will eat pizza or Chinese before the sun comes up. 

“Alright Sylvie, looks like you’re good to go. Of course you’ll need someone to stay with y-“ 

“I’ll be with her,” Matt interjects, assuring the nurse. They’ve already talked about it, or rather, he’d insisted and after four ‘Sylvie, seriously I don’t mind’s’, she’d agreed. 

“Alright, well, you should be in good hands,” she smiles at the blonde, who blushes. It doesn’t go over his head, the implied meaning, but he doesn’t say anything, not wanting to draw more attention to the elephant in the room. “You’ll probably experience headaches off and on for a couple of weeks, and we’ll have the neurologist call you to set up a test to help determine when you’ll be cleared for work. If your headaches get worse, or you lose consciousness, come back,” the woman adds. 

Sylvie nods, smiling warmly. “Thanks April, hopefully next time I see you I’ll be back working,” she says kindly, and Matt can’t help but smile. Not even gone two shifts and she’s already restless. 

After Sylvie finishes up eating, Matt steps out so she can put on the comfortable sweatpants and shirt Stella brought. He’s already talked to Boden about getting tomorrow’s shift off, and though he wishes he could request even more, logically the firefighter knows she’ll be okay after the first twenty four hours. 

The curtain pulls back and reveals a tired but still beautiful, non-gowned Sylvie, and it makes Matt relax, seeing her in normal clothes again. Her sweatpants look soft, he thinks, as he grabs his bag. “Ready?” 

“More than you know,” she jokes. As they walk out, Matt thinks about wrapping an arm around the petite woman but thinks better of it, not wanting to overstep. His mind flashes back to two nights prior.  _ Maybe we’ll end up together...really wanna kiss you. Bet you’re the best kisser.  _ She’d been too drugged to remember the next morning, and Matt’s still not sure if that’s a blessing in disguise or not. 

When they step inside her apartment, he sees her shiver. It’s cold from no heat running for days, so Matt heads over to the small thermostat on the wall and hikes it up to 71 degrees on heat, then walks to her bedroom, where he can hear Sylvie shuffling around. Standing in the doorway, he sets her bag down and then gives a smile. 

“Good to be home?” 

The paramedic looks up from where she’s taking her jacket off. “So nice. I’ve missed my bed,” she admits as she sits on it, kicking her legs slightly. 

“You should shower, it’ll make you feel better. Plus, no hospital germs,” Matt adds, hoping she doesn’t take it rudely. Even after three days in the hospital she still looks as gorgeous as ever. 

“You’re right. At least you got showers when you went home. I feel gross.” Sylvie stands and Matt freezes. It dawns on him then that she doesn’t realize he’d stayed with her the full almost seventy two hours. He lets it drop, but then decides against it. Communication is key. He’d rather her find out now than later when Stella says something. 

“I actually stayed,” the Captain blurts out, instantly wishing he’d had more tact. Sylvie’s looking at him, brow furrowed. He swallows. “I mean...I stayed with you, I didn’t go home. I was worried, and didn’t want you to wake up alone, I know you don’t like hospitals.” Matt shoves his hands in his jeans pockets. 

Sylvie blinks and narrows her eyes like she’s figuring it all out. Matt’s sure it’s taking longer because of the concussion. “I….I thought you just...I didn’t realize….” she trails off, moving closer. “Thank you. Really. You didn’t have to do that, but you  _ did _ , and it means a lot.” She's smiling now, and Matt feels less like an idiot. 

“Of course. I’ll always be there for you Sylvie.” He says it gently, one hand finding her shoulder, a spot it’s grown accustomed to. When he looks at her, nearly six inches lower, Matt notices that she’s got an odd look in her. It’s not hurt, but something close. He’s about to say something when Sylvie cuts in. 

“I’m going to shower. Then you’re welcome to it, though you may have to settle for girly soap,” she jokes, and the light returns to her eyes. Matt wonders if he’s just tired and his mind is playing tricks. 

“I think I can live with that.” Biting his lip, he rubs the back of his neck, knowing his next sentence is going to be taken awkwardly, no way around it. “Do you think you can crack the door?” 

As expected, Sylvie’s eyes widen and she gives him a look of absolute confusion. 

“I know Halstead cleared you to come home, but I don’t feel comfortable with you in a hot room with the door locked and shut. Just in case you pass out,” Matt rambles, trying to back track. He doesn’t back down though, because he’s serious. The idea of finding Sylvie passed out in the shower is low on his list of things he wants to do today. 

Understanding, the blonde’s features soften and she nods. “Yeah, of course. And thank you again for doing this. I can always ask Stel-“ 

“ _ Sylvie _ . I’m staying.” Dejavu slams into him, but he keeps his smile in place when she nods and heads off to the bathroom, leaving the door cracked for him as promised. 

Moving to the kitchen, he checks her fridge, only feeling marginally like a creep. He’s gone into her fridge before to grab a beer, but this feels more intimate when she’s in her bathroom and doesn’t know what he’s doing. Matt tells himself this is okay, he’s only checking to see if there’s something he can make them for lunch, he’s not just trying to find things out about her or something else weird. From there, he checks the pantry before grabbing his phone from his pocket and tapping his way to the group he has with Kidd and Sev. 

_ Can one of you grab some stuff from the store for me? I’ll send you the money. Need it at Sylvie’s apartment.  _

Hitting send, Matt pauses and listens out, hearing the water running but no sounds of distress. Satisfied that Sylvie’s alright, the firefighter runs a hand down his face and sits on the couch, letting himself rest for the first time in three days. He’s been on alert constantly, from the second the 10-1 came through, to arriving here. He registers a low ache behind his eyes, running to his temples. Phone buzzing, the blonde straightens up and clicks the message. 

_ We’re on shift. Did you hit your head too?  _

Damn it. Sighing, he rubs at his face again, feeling the roughness of stubble. Guess they’ll be ordering in. 

_ Very funny Sev. It’s been a hectic few days, guess I forgot. We can just get something delivered, or I can make something using her stuff.  _

As Matt scrolls through different restaurants, he hears the shower turn off, then two minutes later Sylvie returning to her bedroom, door shutting behind her. He tells himself not to look up, not to invade her privacy, though the thought out of Sylvie in nothing but a towel and her hair wet is something out of a fantasy of his. Now he  _ does _ feel like a creep. 

Eyes shutting against his will, Matt leans against the back of her couch, mind drifting. He thinks about the crash, and how he’d felt seeing Sylvie hanging there against her seatbelt. He’s not sure he’s felt that way since losing Hallie, which kind of terrifies him. He can’t mess this up. When Sylvie’s door makes noise, he opens his eyes and stands, giving her what he’s sure is a tired looking smile. 

“Shower’s all yours. And you’re right, I do feel a lot better, so thank you.” Sylvie looks better, though still like she’s been through hell. Her left cheek is littered with tiny cuts from the glass of the ambo shattering, she has bruises on her arms and dark circles under her eyes from the kind of exhaustion that comes from being stuck in a hospital while your body is trying to heal. Matt wants to wrap her up in a blanket and keep her out of any more trouble. 

“I’m glad, hopefully it’ll only be up from here,” he offers a smile. “I was thinking we could order something for lunch, anything you want,” Matt gives her his phone. “You pick and order, I’m sure I’ll like whatever you get, so just order double. I’m going to go shower.” 

Seeing the nod she gives as she sits down on the couch, grabbing the blanket that’s draped on the back, the Captain picks up his bag and makes his way to the bathroom. A foot outside of the door, he’s hit with the familiar scent that screams Sylvie in his mind. Shutting the door, Matt drops his bag and rummages through it, grabbing out his extra change of clothes from last shift, as well as his toothbrush and toothpaste. He’s starting to realize why Sev doesn’t keep his shampoo and body wash in his office like he does. 

It’s an odd feeling, undressing in Sylvie’s bathroom. Matt tries not to think about it, instead he starts the shower and gets in quickly, though as soon as he’s in, he wishes he’d just waited to shower all together. An intimate feeling washes over him, seeing all her different soaps and little loofa displayed in a standing rack in the corner. Hesitantly, Matt reads the front labels of everything, trying to figure out which one is the shampoo. Why do girls have so many things? The Captain finally finds a surprisingly large bottle that reads ‘Creme de Coco Shampoo’, by Bumble and Bumble. He’s never heard of the brand but it sounds nice and the container looks like it’s expensive, so he uses half a pump, lathering up his hair quickly. 

Rinsing the shampoo out, he checks again at the bottles and grabs the one that says ‘Puracy Coconut and Vanilla’, putting a small amount on the washcloth he’d been left, sudsing it up and washing. By the time he’s out and towel drying his hair, Matt feels discombobulated, smelling Sylvie everywhere he goes. He slips into his underwear, socks, old jeans and green henley before brushing his hair. When he’s satisfied, he drops his towel and washcloth in the small hamper and then walks out, dirty clothes in his bag. 

Sylvie’s sitting on the couch, looking...anxious? Matt’s not sure what’s happened, but  _ something _ definitely has. His stomach turns to lead. He tries to think of anything he’s said or done, and the moment shared earlier before his shower pops back up, even though he still doesn’t understand it. Setting his bag down, Matt sits next to her on the couch. 

“Hey, did you order something?” He asks, tilting his head so he can see her better. 

The blonde nods and smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She won’t look at him. 

“Sylvie, did I do som-” 

“How do you feel...about me?” 

Matt freezes. It’s not at all what he’s expecting, and his brain scrambles to catch up. “What?” 

“How do you feel about me? Because….I need to know. I need to know if I’m being a complete idiot or not.” Her voice wavers and Matt furrows his brow, utterly confused. 

“Sylvie, where is this coming from?” 

“I just need to know.” 

Turning, the woman’s eyes finally meet his, blue on blue. It’s like looking into the ocean. He feels anxiety and worry and hope and confusion coming off of her in waves. Her body language is tense. Slowly, though it’s an instant reaction in his mind, Matt reaches out and slides his hand on top of hers. He takes a deep breath, hoping what he’s about to say comes out somewhat coherently. Though he doesn’t talk about his feelings much, when he does it usually all rushes out and gets incohesive and choppy. 

“I don’t want to be just friends. But I don’t want to screw this up either. I can’t lose you, and so I’ve been telling myself that ignoring how I feel is better than admitting it,” he licks his lips. “But maybe that’s not what I should be doing. I’ve had feelings for you for over a year. You’re the most kind, selfless woman I’ve ever known. You radiate joy and always try to see the good in people. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever known Sylvie.” Squeezing her hand, Matt trudges on. He needs to get it out there now. He can’t tell what she’s thinking, but then he sees a twitch at the corner of her lips, and he hopes it’s a good sign. 

“I’ve wanted to tell you how I feel for so long, but I always get too nervous, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’ve been a coward, Sylvie. I don’t want to lose you, I  _ can’t _ lose you again. When you left with the Chaplain...I was so angry. I was angry that I hadn’t told you how I felt, angry that I’d let you get hurt during the warehouse fire, angry that I’d told you to go for it with him when I was already falling for you,” Matt rambles. “And then….a few days ago, seeing you in that ambulance,” he feels his voice shake, blinks hard. “I can’t lose you again. I don’t want to just be friends anymore.” 

Matt feels his heart beating wildly, palms sweaty. Every inch of him feels pulled tight with anticipation. It hits him that the paramedic still has a concussion, and this probably isn’t the best time to be talking about their future, but there’s no going back now. Sylvie moves closer, and suddenly her fingers are lacing with his. 

“I’ve wanted to be with you too. And then….then I felt like everytime we were close, something happened. I don’t want to wait anymore Matt, I don’t want to be just friends either, I want to be able to cuddle up with you and watch dumb movies without all the tension of will they won’t they. I just want to be with you.” 

It’s like he’s in a dream, like he’s floating on air. He’s waiting for the shoe to drop but it never comes. It’s euphoria. Their gaze never strays, and then they’re both moving forward, lips connecting. Matt wraps an arm around her waist, and Sylvie’s got her hands on his cheeks as they kiss. They move away to get air, but then Matt stays back, even though all he wants is to kiss her again, to get drunk on her. 

“You have a concussion. You just got out of the hospit-” 

“I’m not impaired enough to know I want this. I want you.” She’s frowning, looking hurt, and Matt shakes his head quickly. 

“No,  _ no _ I didn’t mean….I just...let’s wait for the hard make out session okay? As much as I want to. You should be taking it easy.” Matt’s breath is heavy and his heart feels ready to burst. Finally he’s allowed to do all the little things he’s dreamed of. Gently, he pushes blonde hair out of her face, then leans down and kisses her forehead.

She leans into him, and Matt pulls her close, like a magnetic force, drawn to her. 

“This sucks,” Sylvie huffs, but there’s a smile on her face that tells him she’ll wait if she has to, if only because this thing between them is finally happening. “....you’ve really known for over a year?” 

“That group date you set me up on? With the charades? It hit me at the end of the night that I would have rather gone on a date with you than your friend. And then...we just got closer. And you trusted me with so much,” Matt admits, wrapping an arm around her, nuzzling her hair. He can feel her body deflate. 

“You’re something else Matt Casey,” she mumbles, and he can tell she’s getting tired. At that moment, there’s a knock on the door and Matt groans, getting up. He takes the food and thanks the delivery man, handing him a ten dollar bill, the first one he pulls out of his wallet. He’s sure if it had been a twenty he wouldn’t have cared. There’s only one thing on his mind and she’s back on the couch. 

Shutting the door, he can’t help but laugh at the PIC’s face, how sleepy she looks, how happy. “Can you put it in the fridge? I really just want to cuddle with you right now. My head hurts.” 

Knowing if she asked him to commit murder for her he would, Matt puts the food up as asked and then heads back to the couch. “Like I could refuse you,” he chuckles, but stops when he sees she’s standing. Sylvie takes his hand and tugs him to her bedroom, and Matt follows. It’s the first time he’s been in it, only ever catching glimpses from the living room. It’s very Sylvie- retro and vintage but with a flair of something else. He remembers her mentioning a store she shops at,  _ Anthropologie _ , and he assumes it’s exactly like this. 

“Your room is really pretty,” he offers. It is, at least, to Matt it is. His room at Severide’s is basic at best. He’s not bought anything for himself aside from bedding which consists of a set of navy sheets and grey sheets, along with a autumn colored quilt and a heavier navy blanket. He’s left everything else the same, which now, in retrospect, is kind of sad. Sylvie’s room is full of shades of purples and creams and greys. Her quilt has splashes of a golden yellow, and the sequoia tree art on her wall peaks his interest, though he knows now isn’t the time to ask about it. “It’s very you.” 

“I hope that’s a compliment,” she jokes, leading him to the bed. Matt follows her lead, undoing the sheets so they can both get in. That’s when he freezes, then looks at her shyly. He doesn’t want her to feel weird, or like they’re going too fast. 

“It is. Are you okay if I take off my jeans?” He asks, scrunching up his nose when she laughs at him. 

“ _ Matt _ , take your stupid jeans off and get in my bed.” 

When they’re both curled up against each other, and Matt’s gently running his fingers through Sylvie’s soft hair, she shifts to look up at him. “We’re….dating right? I just want to make sure that we-” 

“I’m your pretty boyfriend Matt,” the man smiles, looking down at her, feeling incomprehensibly happy. 

Sylvie stills, narrowing her eyes. “...did I say that when I was drugged?” She starts blushing when Matt nods, making him grin. 

“You might have also mentioned wanting to kiss me, because you thought I was a good kisser. So, the real question is, do I live up to your expectations?” 

The blush gets darker and his smile grows, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. “Come on...don’t let me think I’m a bad kisser.” 

“You’re the  _ worst _ ,” Sylvie rolls her eyes, but her smile is fond and then she’s nuzzling back up close and catching his lips before shutting her eyes. Matt kisses her forehead, letting them both get drowsy with sleep. His mind remembers something and he shifts to look at his girlfriend, who opens one eye. 

“What?” 

“....how expensive is your shampoo?” 

“Sixty dollars for that huge thing.” 

Matt looks at her with wide eyes, then huffs and slinks back down under the covers. He may care about Sylvie, but there’s no way in hell he can support her shampoo funds. The Captain falls asleep soon after, wrapped up against the blonde, face buried in her soft hair. Maybe the shampoo is worth it. 

\+ + +

Pancakes from the hospital’s cafeteria are surprisingly not bad, Sylvie thinks, as she cuts herself off another bite. She’s getting out today, but she’d realized earlier she doesn’t have much in the way of food at her place. It had been something she was going to do when she’d gotten off shift. So much for that. As she sips on her orange juice, April walks in, holding discharge papers, thank god. The blonde is ready to be out of the uncomfortable bed and in her own place. 

“Alright Sylvie, looks like you’re good to go. Of course you’ll need someone to stay with y-“ 

“I’ll be with her,” Matt speaks up, making the paramedic smile to herself. He’d been insistent, that’s for sure, but if she’s being honest, it’s nice to know he’s going to be there in case something bad happens. 

“Alright, well, you should be in good hands,” April directs a smile over to her, making her blush. Of course she would, and though she wishes it could be literally, she’ll settle for Matt’s small gestures of a hand on her back or shoulder. “You’ll probably experience headaches off and on for a couple of weeks, and we’ll have the neurologist call you to set up a test to help determine when you’ll be cleared for work. If your headaches get worse, or you lose consciousness, come back.” 

She’s not looking forward to this part- recovery. She’s never been good at sitting still and waiting, that’s why she likes being a paramedic. It’s fast paced and never boring. Sylvie nods her head in acceptance, giving a little smile. “Thanks April, hopefully next time I see you I’ll be back working.” There’s no way she ever wants to end up back in med again. The last time she’d been here as a patient had been after the warehouse fire. Even thinking about it makes her chest ache. 

When she finishes up her pancakes and juice, she looks at the firefighter sitting in the plastic chair he’s been in every morning when she’s woken up. It’s sweet, the fact he’s come back to sit with her all day, even if she feels bad. He’s got to be bored with how much she’s been sleeping. Announcing she’s going to get dressed, Matt slips out and she takes off the gown happily. Body still sore from the crash, Sylvie carefully shrugs the clothes Stella had brought by the day prior, glad to have something with a back to it. 

Moving the curtain, she sees Matt leaning against the glass wall, absentmindedly reading some little chart posted to a cabinet. He looks up at the noise, giving her a smile as he moves past her to get both their bags. 

“Ready to go?” 

Is she  _ ever _ . “More than you know,” Sylvie laughs quietly and starts the trek to what she assumes is going to be Matt’s truck. As they move, she notices Matt looking like he’s deep in thought, but she doesn’t press it. A lot has happened the past few days. Belatedly, she realizes that he should be on shift today, but then Sylvie remembers him saying something about having it cleared with Boden. Her eyes close briefly when they reach the outside, sunshine glaring down. Was it always this bright? Her head gives a throb and she keeps her eyes directed down, letting Matt lead. The ride home is quiet but not uncomfortable, instead she lets her eyes close and listens to the hum of his old truck. 

Her apartment is freezing. She shivers and heads to her bedroom, only semi-aware that Matt’s disappeared. She hears her heater kick on as she shrugs her jacket off. That’s what he was doing then. 

“Good to be home?” 

Looking up only slightly startled from the sudden noise, Sylvie nods and smiles, wiggling around on her bed a bit just to feel the coziness as she looks at Matt, who’s watching her in amusement. 

“ _ So _ nice. I’ve missed my bed.”

“You should shower, it’ll make you feel better. Plus, no hospital germs,” the firefighter suggests, looking a little shy. It’s true, she knows. She always feels better after a shower, leaves her feeling more refreshed and not as grimy. 

“You’re right. At least you got showers when you went home. I feel gross.” Standing, she pauses when Matt suddenly stops moving, looking like he wants to say something but is at war with himself. She’s not said anything odd or out of place, at least she doesn’t think she has. 

“I actually stayed.”

She furrows her brow and purses her lips, not fully understanding. Damn this concussion, making her feel fuzzy. 

“I mean...I stayed with you, I didn’t go home. I was worried, and didn’t want you to wake up alone, I know you don’t like hospitals.” 

Matt had stayed? Overnight? So he’d stayed three days in the hospital, straight from shift, not leaving except to get them food or to use the restroom. Something in Sylvie’s chest blooms, and suddenly the fuzziness feels more like it’s got to do with the man in front of her rather than her head.

“I….I thought you just...I didn’t realize….” The blonde takes a step forward, a smile on her face. “Thank you. Really. You didn’t have to do that, but you  _ did _ , and it means a lot.” And it does. She hates hospitals, and now that she realizes she could have easily been alone that whole time makes her appreciate him even more than she thought possible. 

“Of course. I’ll always be there for you Sylvie.” Matt’s voice is so gentle and then it’s like Sylvie is doused with cold water, her head giving a deep throb. She can’t do this, she can’t fall in love with Matt. He doesn’t feel the same way. Heart deflating, she shifts and clears her throat, trying to ignore the warm hand on her shoulder. She can do this, she can act normal. She has to. 

“I’m going to shower. Then you’re welcome to it, though you may have to settle for girly soap.” Sylvie smiles, pushing away the previous thoughts about the Captain. They can still be best friends. 

“I think I can live with that.” A moment and then Matt’s rubbing his neck and looking undoubtedly awkward. “Do you think you can crack the door?” 

Logically Sylvie knows he doesn’t mean it to come off inappropriate, but she can feel her eyes widening, an instant reaction.  _ Did _ he mean it  _ that _ way? But then...what would  _ that _ way even mean? 

“I know Halstead cleared you to come home, but I don’t feel comfortable with you in a hot room with the door locked and shut. Just in case you pass out,” Matt starts talking fast, obviously trying to explain. His cheeks are flushed from embarrassment and he looks adorable. Deciding to throw him a bone, understanding now as well, Sylvie nods fondly. 

“Yeah, of course. And thank you again for doing this. I can always ask Stel-“ 

“ _ Sylvie _ . I’m staying.” Just like the previous time he’d stayed over, her heart speeds up a little and she swallows thickly. Nodding, she scurries off to the bathroom, feeling only a smidge awkward at leaving the door open. But the paramedic knows Matt, and knows nothing is going to happen. He’s looking out for her like always. A perfect gentleman. 

Showering takes longer than normal, half because her body is sore and quick sharp movements make her headache worse, and half because she tells herself she deserves it, damnit! The spray hits her body, easing some of the aches and bruises, and the warmth makes her head feel marginally better. Sylvie does her hair, then her body, going over it twice, because hospital germs aren’t something she makes a habit of allowing on herself. 

By the time she’s out of the shower and somewhat towel dried her hair, she’s feeling tired but definitely more refreshed. Heading to her room, she catches Matt staring at his phone before closing her door. She pulls on new sweatpants and an old tshirt, opting for just a bralette, too sore to have something really pressing against her rib cage. The shirt catches her head, making it throb in protest, but when the pain passes she’s able to right herself and head back out. 

“Shower’s all yours. And you’re right, I do feel a lot better, so thank you.” Sylvie looks at Matt, who looks tired. Now knowing he’d been at the hospital so long, she’s sure he’s got to be exhausted, probably has a headache from the little crease between his brows. 

“I’m glad, hopefully it’ll only be up from here. I was thinking we could order something for lunch, anything you want,” Matt holds out his phone and Sylvie grabs it, seeing it’s already on the DoorDash app, one of the go to for all the firefighters at Firehouse 51. “You pick and order, I’m sure I’ll like whatever you get, so just order double. I’m going to go shower.” 

Sylvie sits down on the couch, tugging the cozy blue blanket off the back of her couch, spreading it over herself. The paramedic scrolls through until she finds Panera, one of her favorite comfort food go to’s. She orders her soup and sandwich combo, then thinks back to when she and Matt had picked it up once before, then finds the sandwich and mac and cheese he’d gotten. As soon as she clicks the deliver button, his phone buzzes, and the small drop down box appears. She doesn’t mean to see it, but her brain is already reading before she can even look away

_ Kelly Severide  _ _  
_ _ Dude, you better tell her how you feel before someone else comes along and… _

Knowing she can’t click through, no matter how desperately she wants to read the rest, she hits the side button to blip the phone off, then sits on the couch, feeling completely confused. Did Severide mean ‘tell her how you feel’ in a way that means Matt likes her? Or does he mean that Matt knows she wants to be something more and isn’t interested? If he wasn’t interested why would he have stayed at the hospital? Because it’s what friends do? But the firefighter is always touching her. She’s reminded of the gentle touches when she’d broken down about Scott and Amelia. She thinks about him sitting out in the freezing cold looking for a cat with her. 

Swallowing, Sylvie lets herself get lost in thought, warring with her own emotions, anxiety filling her to the core. What if this changed everything? She knows he’s over Gabby, they’ve talked briefly about how he’d deleted the voice mail, how she’d asked him to come with her twice now, and he can’t do it. But what if? She’s brought out of her thoughts when Matt’s suddenly there, sitting next to her. 

“Hey, did you order something?” The man angles himself and she can tell he’s looking at her, but she keeps her eyes looking at the coffee table, nodding as she gives what she hopes is a somewhat true looking smile. 

“Sylvie, did I do som-” 

“How do you feel...about me?” It’s like Sylvie can’t stop the words from falling out of her mouth. She’s not sure if she wants to stop them, honestly. She’s tired of doing this dance, of not knowing if they feel the same way or not. Her head hurts, and her concussion has apparently given her the confidence she needs to get some clarification. Either that or the idea of spending another night with Matt sleeping on her couch and not knowing is going to drive her insane. Maybe both. 

She almost wants to laugh at the way Matt looks like a deep caught in the headlights. Almost. 

“What?” 

“How do you feel about me? Because….I need to know. I need to know if I’m being a complete idiot or not.” Sylvie doesn’t mean for her voice to come out the way it does, almost cracking, but she needs to know, and her emotions feel like they’re all coming to a head. She’s not sure whether she wants to be angry or upset or if she wants to cry. 

“Sylvie, where is this coming from?” 

“I just need to know.” 

Sylvie turns, body tense. Will this be it? Will they realize they’re made for one another? Or is he going to laugh and think she’s being ridiculous. Severide’s texts though….The blonde swallows again, body trembling just slightly. She’s watching him so seriously that she almost flinches when she feels a hand on hers, bigger and warm. Matt takes a breath and his eyes don’t break from hers. 

“I don’t want to be just friends. But I don’t want to screw this up either. I can’t lose you, and so I’ve been telling myself that ignoring how I feel is better than admitting it. But maybe that’s not what I should be doing. I’ve had feelings for you for over a year. You’re the most kind, selfless woman I’ve ever known. You radiate joy and always try to see the good in people. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever known Sylvie.” 

He’s had feelings. He’s wanted to be with her for over a year. The paramedic’s heart is beating fast, like she’s just won a marathon. Matt has a hard time talking about his feelings. Sylvie’s always known this, even from the beginning of being at 51. He’s solemn and reserved most of the time, and it always makes her smile when he talks about anything with her- it feels like victory. She can’t help but start to smile, trying to tamper it down so he’ll continue. 

“I’ve wanted to tell you how I feel for so long, but I always get too nervous, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’ve been a coward, Sylvie. I don’t want to lose you, I  _ can’t _ lose you again. When you left with the Chaplain...I was so angry. I was angry that I hadn’t told you how I felt, angry that I’d let you get hurt during the warehouse fire, angry that I’d told you to go for it with him when I was already falling for you,” the firefighter rambles. It makes Sylvie smile more. “And then….a few days ago, seeing you in that ambulance....I can’t lose you again. I don’t want to just be friends anymore.” 

She realizes now that they’ve been feeling the exact same way. Granted....he’d been the one to push her with Kyle, but she also understands why he did it. She moves closer, lacing their fingers together. It feels right. 

“I’ve wanted to be with you too. And then….then I felt like everytime we were close, something happened. I don’t want to wait anymore Matt, I don’t want to be just friends either, I want to be able to cuddle up with you and watch dumb movies without all the tension of will they won’t they. I just want to be with you.” 

After what feels like an eternity of staring into his blue green eyes, Sylvie moves her head and he follows, lips meeting. She’s always guessed Matt’s a good kisser, from what she’s gathered, and it’s true, he’s definitely the best kisser she’s ever met. He wraps an arm around her as she moves her hands to his cheeks, feeling the rough stubble from three days without shaving. Sylvie finally pulls back to get air, ready to kiss him again, but she sees Matt’s not leaning back in, so she freezes. 

“You have a concussion. You just got out of the hospit-” 

“I’m not impaired enough to know I want this. I want  _ you _ .” How can he possibly think this is just a concussion talking? Frowning, she fidgets and looks at him with sad eyes. 

“No,  _ no _ I didn’t mean….I just...let’s wait for the hard make out session okay? As much as I want to. You should be taking it easy.” 

A kiss on the forehead, hair swept away from her face, and Sylvie leans in closer, his arms pulling her in. She feels safe and warm and like she could do anything, despite a concussion. She’s happier than she’s been in a long time, and she doesn’t ever want it to end. 

“This sucks.” It’s fond and she hopes he knows she’s willing to wait. As she pouts, she remembers what he’d said, and she wants clarification. “....you’ve really known for over a year?” 

“That group date you set me up on? With the charades? It hit me at the end of the night that I would have rather gone on a date with you than your friend. And then...we just got closer. And you trusted me with so much.” 

Feeling her adrenaline crashing, she presses against him, body finally fully relaxing for the first time since before the accident. Her free hand plays with the hem of his shirt absentmindedly, and she feels drowsy and content with the knowledge that Matt wants to be more than friends. He feels the same way. “You’re something else Matt Casey,” her voice is slow and sated, and she huffs when the Panera is here to be delivered. 

With the firefighter getting up and going to the door, she shifts and brings the blanket back closer, eyes drooping as she watches the blonde, eyes drifting to his ass. She’s allowed to admire it now, right? Matt turns back around and Sylvie sits up just slightly. “Can you put it in the fridge? I really just want to cuddle with you right now. My head hurts.” 

By the time he’s sat it in the fridge and is walking over, she stands up. “Like I could refuse you,” he chuckles, but stops when he sees she’s standing. 

Sylvie leads him to her bedroom, which, blessedly, is clean. She thanks her past self for remembering to make her bed and clean up the dirty clothes from her floor. 

“Your room is really pretty, it’s very you.” 

“I hope that’s a compliment.” Sylvie has to laugh quietly at that. Captain Matthew Casey telling her that her room is pretty. Holding hands with her. How is this her life? She goes to her bed and pulls the covers back, ready to curl up and sleep, when Matt stops, looking hesitant and shy. 

“It is. Are you okay if I take off my jeans?” 

It knocks a real laugh out of her this time, and she shakes her head. What a dummy. 

“ _ Matt _ , take your stupid jeans off and get in my bed.” 

She curls up close, and Matt has an arm around her, nestling in so he’s got his face pressed close to her head, but respectful of the fact she’s got a concussion. Sylvie bites her lip and shifts, wanting to clear everything up, wanting to be on the same page. “We’re….dating right? I just want to make sure that we-” 

“I’m your pretty boyfriend Matt.” 

Oh....oh,  _ no _ .  _ God _ no. Sylvie narrows her eyes and feels a warm blush go through her whole body. “...did I say that when I was drugged?” There’s no way she didn’t. Matt would never voluntarily call himself pretty. 

“You might have also mentioned wanting to kiss me, because you thought I was a good kisser. So, the real question is, do I live up to your expectations?” He’s got a shit eating grin on his face and Sylvie wants to get swallowed up by her bed, wants to disappear. A chaste kiss and she huffs. 

“Come on...don’t let me think I’m a bad kisser.” 

“You’re the  _ worst _ .” The paramedic nuzzles back up against his neck, then shifts so she’s able to kiss him back, smiling as she shuts her eyes and lays back down to his shoulder. She feels sleep tugging at her, knocked only slightly loose when a kiss is dropped to her forehead. She likes forehead kisses, she decides. She’s close to fully drifting off when she feels her boyfriend shift, making her open one eye when she can feel him looking at her. 

“What?” 

“....how expensive is your shampoo?” 

Of course that’s what Matt has to ask. _Of_ _course_. 

“Sixty dollars for that huge thing.” Her eyes are shut again, but she smiles, knowing Matt probably has a look of absolute confusion and shock on his pretty face. He’ll just have to learn that good hair comes at a price. He settles back down and they’re both asleep in minutes, finally able to rest. Together. 

  
  



End file.
